The reality of fear

Fear is a powerful emotion that captures hearts, confines dreams and break homes. It is sometimes set by those you care the most, the inflictions of pain you wish to cast unfortunately to those you love the most. Fear comes in all forms, faces and forms. The fear of being a victim of crime, paranoid and living beneath the reality of life, creating a self non forming bubble where inside everything is just the way you want it. However this fear pulls you away from possibilities, friends, family and love, opportunity, dreams and faith. Fear of life itself, that terrible sinking feeling of fearing the unknown, always wanting to be calculated and precise in the step forward. The fear of not being able to love, for the fear of the wounds already inflicted. The fear of falling without someone to catch you, that irreplaceable drifting into nothingness. We let our minds accept fear, it becomes a part of us, a parasite growing with our every need for paranoia and longing. Two things control us, the need and the fear. The fear of being forgotten, or replaced. The contingency of not knowing what comes next with no helping hand to guide you. It makes you stronger, independent but you lose your hope in humanity thereafter. You lose your faith and hope that there will ever be someone to help you. When your walls you have created cannot withstand the storms for much longer there would never be someone to help you float, to keep your head above water. Fear makes every man for themselves…

                                              

Laissez faire of life

Laissez faire, a French term literally meaning let them do, indoctrinated into society that the individual lies solely on his her own, free from restrictions imposed by governments or capitalism. Adapting this economic term used to describe a completely free market, use it to describe freedom of individuals in life. The Laissez faire of life, does it truely exist? Many argue that in fact Laissez faire does not exist fully within all perimeters of a fully functioning economic community or society but instead the principles of it are bent slightly to suit the needs of individuals. There are deep.moral.ambiguities in the Laissez faire of life.

When your freedom begins someone else’s ends. The need for leading and conviction is established and the freedom you once seek isn’t within the perimeters of your existence. It’s controlled by the actions and thinking of others. No matter how much, they tell you to forget the words of others, you control your own destiny, you need to make the conscious choice, the Laissez faire of life exists within the principles and convictions of those that control the strings of your life. Is independence truely achieved? Or is it achieved within the contexts of certain truths. Laissez faire, freedom of choice, let it be, let them be, leave it be, but to what extent? Sometimes, the Laissez faire of life comes when you least expect it to. It crawls up your once spineless back and fills your pocketful of excuses with a courage so intense that you become afraid, afraid if you blink or rationalise you may end up regretting it. Laissez faire of life, comes in dosages, like self medicating on life, take it in small dosages. It brings in free trade of opinions, indivualistic approach of self assurance, assets of freedom, debts of depression. Laissez faire of life gives to you the reigns of freedom and will but takes from you emotional strength. It gives you a drive towards an unknown future but takes from you the certainty of yourself. It provides you with opportunity but never fails to remind you of the ones you lost before. It forges an indefinite path, one you cannot return from but can still into the past. It gives you the hope of a tomorrow whilst still reminding you of a today. It gives you the courage to walk ahead but keeps you attention behind. Is Laissez faire of life fair? I guess it’s how you use it to get ahead. If you stop at nothing, lose your humanity along the way and can sleep at night knowing you destroyed a life, it would get you ahead. But if you choose to keep your humanity, accept false truths and live bereft of passing opinions, Laissez faire of life would give you the freedom but haunt you in its role it played in your life. Let it be, leave it be, let them be, Laissez faire of life, freedom before humanity…
                                            

Djinns and reality

The reality of life cannot be defined by a structured word, sentence or paragraph, it has a fluid like state of meaning, a contingency that alters according to perceptions and thoughts. Amongst the mediocre humdrum of life we find Djinns as an escape from reality, the Djinns to help us cope with the harshness of life, the steely gaze of a predisposed future, the icy grip of working class behaviours. What is this Djinns u may ask? It comes in formidable forms, the golden liquidness that envelopes senses, the aroma of scents to disguise reality, the dice of fate to fantasy. Make believe or not Djinns find its way into everyday lives. It’s the dependence of something different, the longing of a new start, the dream of a surprise or the fantasy of a make believe life, Djinns comes in forms to incapacitate the alertness and sting of reality, the real life days we find still with us. 

We intoxicate ourselves by make believe hopes, planning our moves, strategising and reworking the drawing board, and when the pieces fall,fall, the Djinns suffice to take us to world’s where all of the failures, lost hopes and dreams don’t exist. Momentarily we are drifted across the possibilities of now and forever, the latter filling our minds and hearts and senses with a comfort we do not wish to leave. The Djinns are cruel though, once the comfort sets in, an almost placated mind, they rip us like distended umbilical cords, unwanted specimens, the shock of reality jerking us into the today, the very center of the now, only to beg the Djinns to take us to that world once more. We lose our touch with real life and give in to the whims of the Djinns, carried away by promises of comfort and precarious calmness, only left for wanting more. Djinns and reality do not mix. Djinns promise you temporary fantasy and forgetfulness, life teaches you by its harshness. It’s what u choose…
                                                

Bolder frontiers

In deep space 9, star trek ie fans would undoubtedly agree that star trek and the adventures taught us more than just the thirst for the future or an imagination set bound to broader heights. It taught us the value of friendship, love, honour, respect, dignity and most importantly tolerance. Across species to embrace differences and value the varieties amongst us. It saddens me to know that this can’t be practiced amongst us. We bicker and nag, we point fingers and never accept responsibility. Sometimes we don’t account for the weight on the shoulders of others and add more strain until the weight and pressure causes us to burst at the seams, releasing wrath, anger and hatred. We cause this and then wonder why it happened. Sometimes responsibility lies too much on a single person, sometimes the stress causes us to bend but never break, however little by little under discourse of bereft and insinuating actions the cracks begin to show. The cracks become deeper, exposing deeper cavities, the cavities wear away to form a hollowness. Then all that’s left is a shadow of yourself, a half where there was once a whole. The hollowness cannot be replaced, it can be filled temporarily by work, friends and family. Tolerance is what is needed, the tolerance of pain, the tolerance of acceptance and the tolerance of life.
Like star trek’s new frontiers, adventure awaits us all, in forms disguised, painful and happy. Nevertheless its an adventure to be experienced, of the unknown. As as the saying goes, with tolerance and acceptance will come the ability “To live long and prosper.”
      
                                                     

The roundabout

Amidst the bustling of our nation’s fight against sparing petrol prices, interest rates and dreaded decline in the Rand value, change has come intermittently, unexpectedly to the forefront of both cerebellum and cerebrum, forcing synapse after synapse to register towards the winds of change. Undoubtedly like the masses, one has to conform, embrace the change upon us, be it difficult or easy. However, this moment seems like I was here before, a small figment emerging beyond the recesses of an opaque memory, hidden somewhere amongst the clutter of mundane everydayness. Dejavu. Two years ago, seems the very moment I find myself now, as if come full circle. I like to see life as an image of a roundabout, based on the predisposing principles of karma, what goes around comes around, however the convoluted thought that life does change and actions change courses of events and life paths, how come I find myself at the very center of an incident that occurred two years ago. According to my philanthropic friends and know it all personal Jiminy Cricket, it apparently my own fault. But how can my course of action lead me to a place I didn’t ever want to return to? Is it karma? I made choices to divert from the strange path I thought I was at. It cannot be one’s true own actions, surely it combines the efforts of others in one’s life to bring about this change. You can’t all at once blame one person, it’s collective, like a ripple, one leads to the other, the ever changing links on the hands of time.

Life is a roundabout, sometimes we come to a point twice or thrice in our lives because we never truly learnt life’s lesson. Somehow we are back to this point because something has got to give or someone has got to change. If all else fails, get your ticket to the roundabout and wait in line for your next spin at the same stop.